


Run, Run

by storm_dog_pirate



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: F/M, i'd like to think they have a rare heartfelt moment like this, set the night before they set off for the Fold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:42:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24630259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storm_dog_pirate/pseuds/storm_dog_pirate
Summary: One of the rare nights when a certain general openly says something about how she feels.
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	Run, Run

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Run, Run by Arrows to Athens. I'm absolutely in love with the band (and for these two idiots, but they already know).

It was time to chain him up to bed again. Nikolai winced at the thought. Though it had been his nightly trouble, the feel of the cold metal around his body still made him uneasy. It was like being held down or detained for something he had no control over.

Nikolai opened the door to his room of their current lodge in Kribirsk. It was big enough for a bed fit for two people and a small desk by the window on the left. He sighed as he walked over the edge of the bed and sat down, removing the laces of his boots. The exhaustion of the public appearance earlier in the morning had come to set on his shoulders and he found his movements turning slow and sluggish.

There was a soft click, and he lifted his head up just in time to see Zoya walking from the door towards him. He didn’t know if it was the dim lighting of the lamp by the desk, but he was sure a shadow had crossed his general’s face.

“You seem to be in a much darker mood tonight, Nazyalensky,” Nikolai said. “Is something bothering you? Do tell me, so I can do what I can in my power to lift the dark aura around you.” 

When Zoya remained silent, he stopped working on his right boot that was still on. Usually if he said something that had too many words, she would answer back with a sharp or threatening tone. 

“Now I am worried that something has taken over you.” It was supposed to be said jokingly, but he found his tone becoming concerned. 

Zoya shook her head. “Just get it over with,” she said stiffly, gesturing to his boots. 

Nikolai blinked, confusion clouding his mind. He knew of his general’s ruthlessness and sass. But her current dark mood seemed to be coming from a different source. Somewhere vulnerable. He could see it in the way she held the luggage containing his chains, the way her knuckles went white from gripping it too tightly.

By the time he finished unlacing his boots and removing them, Nikolai backed further on the bed and waited. 

A long silence filled the room. Zoya still hadn’t moved from her place, and Nikolai was really becoming worried. His mind suddenly went back to what had transpired in Adena, when she had scrambled away from him out of fear when he saved her from falling in his monster form. Was it possible that  _ that _ was the reason for the shift in her mood? 

He knew he had to say something.  _ Anything.  _

“Zoya —”

She finally moved. But instead of making her way towards the bed, Zoya went to the table, setting down the luggage with gentleness that surprised Nikolai. She released a sigh as she pulled the chair and slumped down. 

Nikolai went to the edge of the bed, just to be nearer, and blamed his exhaustion for wanting to reach out to her.

“Just another hour,” Zoya said. 

At first, Nikolai didn’t know what she meant. But after a long silence and no movements to get the chains out of the luggage, he finally understood. His eyebrows furrowed in concern. These were the times that he wished he knew what was going on in his commander’s mind, so he could do something to appease it somehow.

He would leave it to her whether she would speak of her troubles or not, as what she would do if their situation was reversed.

Zoya took out a small vial from her pocket, to which Nikolai recognized it as his tonic. She eyed it with wariness, as if staring too hard might break it. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Her statement took Nikolai by surprise. He hadn’t expected that Zoya would want to be around his company after the incident in Balakirev, let alone at night when he was most likely to transform into the monster. 

“Ah, but you wouldn’t be alone, dear Zoya,” he said, trying to find the right words to lighten the atmosphere. “I do make a decent company even when I’m asleep.”

A smile curled at her lips, and Nikolai was relieved that his words had caused it. But the smile was gone as soon as he could blink, replaced by the firm line that he had known so well. 

“It doesn’t feel like that,” she replied, looking through the window. The light from the full moon only sharpened her features against the dim light of the room, and Nikolai found himself staring. “Dosing you was like watching you die every night.”

Her voice was almost worried, and Nikolai was taken aback. It was one of the rare times that he heard Zoya something openly to him. His commander faced everything head on, doing whatever she can to overcome the problems thrown at her. But when it came to talking about  _ her, _ she had never done it so easily. And yet she had trusted him enough to tell him.

Perhaps that was the main reason Nikolai found himself smiling a little despite the situation. “It would take more than a tonic to get rid of me, Nazyalensky. Besides, who would rile you up to oblivion other than me? Probably no one else.”

Zoya scoffed. “You think too highly of yourself, Your Highness.”

“But that’s what I do best.” He winked at her, and then laughed when she rolled her eyes at him. “Don’t worry. We’d both get to see Ravka stand up on her own feet, even if it takes years or even decades, we’d both see it.” And at that moment, he was hit with the resemblance of that night in the carriage, when she held him as the worries of the future plagued his mind. She had given him reassurance, now it was time to return the favor. With all the conviction he could muster, he said, “Do you believe me?”

Her blue eyes flashed with determination, the old fire in them coming back in the moment. She gave him a firm nod. “Yes,” she replied.

A wave of surety washed over them, and Nikolai knew that the king and his general were back, ready for anything that might come in their way. He was grateful for the short moment. 

When it was finally time for him to take the tonic, the two of them shared one last look and he let the drop thrust him to a deep sleep, one thought ingraining his mind.

Ravka would survive for as long as they were standing, and they would both see it together.

  
  



End file.
